Muslim WPC reveals telekinetic crime-fighting superpowers

Kapow! She takes you to the ground with a thought-wave!

Whizz! She tightens the handcuffs with a blink of her eye!

Crunch! She flings you in the van with a shake of her Met-badged veil!


This is news that a muslim policewoman has refused to shake hands with the Met Police Commissioner at her passing-out ceremony. Apparently her faith prevents her ‘touching a man other than her husband.’


So how in the blithering fuck are you going to perform any arrests you stupid girl?!?

WHY would you join a profession where the one thing you can be sure of is manhandling a load of sweaty geezers everyday?!?


Kris has more. I’m just too exasperated to think straight.

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